Saturday , August 26 2023

Battle of the Sexes Remastered

I was attending a charity event recently when a woman was ushered in with all the pomp and ceremony usually saved for the most generous of benefactors. Upon being seated at my table, one of the organizers leaned over and inquired about the occupation of her husband that had allowed her to be so generous. Far from being taken aback by his question, it was evident she had become used to such stereotypical profiling. She graciously replied that both her husband and her are high earners and have the disposable incomes to be generous. It seems that the assumption that women are the homemakers and men are the providers still very much dominates mindsets.

It should be shocking that women are still packaged into the tired old box of being the caregiver, but it is the reality that we live in. As a general rule, men unconsciously reject the very idea that women can be in a leading position and have the intelligence and gumption to successfully run a business. There is a death match between the genders that is being fought at the highest echelons of power. It is a ludicrous notion that female empowerment will essentially castrate men, but it starts to gain merit when one considers how men view everything as a life or death situation. Women ascending into power will automatically mean stepping down from power; there is no middle ground and no compromise.

But before we dump the entire cause of the problem on the heads of men, we must consider that men are creatures of habit. For most of human history, men have almost exclusively dominated positions of power. It has shaped the way they think and act; it makes them want to dominate and rule. Women have always been more communicative and understanding than men, and they have let men have the reins when it comes to power. What role do we expect men to grow into when we indoctrinate them to be leaders from infancy? In every family, the brother is the one who is told to ‘be a man’ and protect their younger and female siblings. They are taught to be authoritarian so they can handle the responsibilities that are thrown their way.

So when men by turn dominate, tease, boss around and coax others, they are only acting out the model they were raised on. Women are alternately taught to be relationship oriented and prone to multitasking. They are more observant and sensitive to other people’s needs and hence can be more creative and inclusive when it comes to leading others.

This style of leadership, however, is proving to be successful even among men, and this is where dominating males start to feel the real threat of exclusion. That nagging subconscious drive for dominion kicks in and starts an unstoppable chain of events where the unyielding notion that the meek are in a position unfit for them. But even that can be tempered with time and effort. It is up to mothers and fathers to reprogram the subconscious of their sons into being more open and cooperative instead of closed up and authoritarian.

I am not writing this as an attack on men. I believe that most men are the product of their upbringing and thus should be looked upon with a measure of empathy. What is unacceptable though is to continue with this divisive upbringing that goes on to segregate society into two warring factions. There is so much to be gained from a symbiotic coexistence where each sex benefits from the surplus of the other and works on patching up the deficiency. Maybe then the notion of a female boss will not provoke fear and anxiety in most men.

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