What if love is not real? People regularly enter relationships full of ideas and misconceptions that they have accumulated from their previous affairs. They enter projecting an idyllic and sublime future that will pin down new heights of passion and endurance. As reality breaks down those hastily-constructed pillars, both partners end up hurt and disillusioned even if the couple ends up having a lifelong commitment and a modest sense of happiness. So perhaps there is no love, but only a sense of relating and belonging.
The ego is a dramatic driving force for all our actions, and it will go to unprecedented lengths to avoid surrendering even an inch of its power. When entering a relationship, all expectations, misconceptions, and rules have to be thrown aside, but the ego will set all of that aside and choose to possess. That ego will latch on to this beloved person as a means of escaping any sort of compromise. They become the shield that will protect them from any underlying feelings of incompetence and discontent. All the negativity, hurt, anger and extreme resentment that was to be projected inwards would be stifled under the visage of that “one” special person that will bring everything full circle.
Little fractures will soon appear once the one singled out for such a sacred mission, and that is when an avalanche of discontent, spearheaded by the ego, crashes down. All that bottled up aggression now has an outlet that would require no compromise since the other person is the sole reason for all that has transpired. All they have to do is project unto them this failure and blame for all the inadequacies. It is no longer the fault of those who harbor these negative emotions; the exclusive culprits are those who were incapable of saving the ones they swore to love forever. This so-called love will easily turn into hate; this irrational sense of loathing is nothing but the universal pain that everyone feels inside, but the ego makes them feel that this person is the cause. Most people fail to notice that it is actually the pain of not being able to forge a deep connection with their inner selves. No matter who that person is, no one can permanently cover up that deep-seated agony for extended lengths of time.
Unfortunately, real love cannot be attained unless you surrender your whole being. This will never happen as long as the unconscious ego keeps whispering war chants in the background. Some of the lucky few will be able to recognize their objects of affection and they can silence the protests of their egos. All the wants of the ego will wilt and the essence of soul flourishes; it is a revelation of innate peace and acceptance. It is when they all find out that what they have been looking for all along in others is the opportunity to find themselves in an echo the universal love and acceptance they were craving. It is this abject surrender that elevates the mundane to the divine free of the restrictions of wants and lust. It will help transcend all the hate that has plagued them for years into another sphere where all the fears and anger take a backseat to a greater happiness and tranquility. And that person can be the polar opposite and it wouldn’t matter since the whole universe exists because of this polarity of left and right, hot and cold, yin and yang. Instead of causing conflicts, these differences will enrich the relationship and make life seem all the more colorful and meaningful. It becomes a celebration of who they are and what they can grow on to be.
This type of love will change the lives of all those it touches. Humans are hostile because they perceive the world as hostile and lash out of self-preservation. However, when one stops viewing the world as an Armageddon or purgatory, one immediately starts to appreciate the differences in others. This acceptance will smooth over the aggression from both sides making the differences seem less and less important until they are weakened underneath the strength of true, universal and selfless love.