As I wandered through life pondering the meaning of my purpose, I was struck by how much of me never budded from within. I imitate the words and actions of my parents. I echo the gestures done to me while dealing with others. Whatever catches my fancy is replicated and projected onto others. I even recall dressing myself to resemble all the famous actresses and singers. Where do I start and where does this foreign clock of artifice begin? Is it possible that I have squandered my true being by nipping small threads from every person to touch my life and interweaving them into a tapestry of deceit?
I rambled between my books and pens. I glided between my old pictures and memories. I sought a compromise between my stances and ethics, those that have wavered upon the pressure of others and those who have stood firmly rooted in utter conviction. I try to grasp the wisps of those dear to me that have been plucked by the icy hands of negligence or the uncompromising claim of death. I search in earnest for the ghosts of whom I used to be before their path diverged from mine.
As I gathered the tattered tethers of my identity, I discovered I am an amalgamation of every experience and interaction I had with everyone I have ever met. I found out that I mimic the actions and facets that appeal to me. Some were transient and some managed to engrave themselves into the stratum of my being. I pluck what catches my fancy to replace an iota of myself that disturbs me.
I am the compilation of every beautiful trait that I yearned for in others. I am the mirror of the goodness that reflects the world I yearn to live in. It comes as no surprise that we sometimes evolve to the point we feel akin to strangers to our former selves. Just when I think I have come to become familiarized with myself, it evades me as the elusive fog creeping into the darkness.
We cannot be content with borrowing from others; we have a hidden treasure trove of individualism and creativity eager to burst forth from the deepest recess of our hearts and minds. Why ignore the depths and layers of ingenuity for the sake of imitating others?
Indiscriminative imitation guarantees our survival during our childhood because it teaches us the essential skills to navigate in an alien world. What follows must be a path of self-discovery.
where we learn to tailor our existence through trial and error. We cannot allow ourselves to remain stagnated in the first stage denying our real second birth into the creature we ought to become. Failing that crucial step, we would never have truly lived for ourselves.
If you are still stumbling through the mire of self-attainment, do not despair because even the wrong steps will guide you to an unknown side of yourself. Be open and receptive to knowledge from all those you meet. Seek wisdom in every moment of happiness and the dredges of despair. Always remember, you could be the one who is passing forth a piece of truth to others, so remain true to who and what you are.