The Pursuit of Transcendent Love!

Why do we invest so much of ourselves in the pursuit of love, whether platonic or romantic, when the chances of finding something genuine and lasting are very rare? We all scatter in droves in the feverish race for grasping on with all our might to ward off the loneliness modernization has inflicted upon us. Even our quest for money and fame all boil down to that desire of being part of a duality that engulfs us in its loving embrace.

From a neurological perspective and the neuroscience model, the brain has evolved to help us become more efficient at meeting our two basic needs:  survival and reproduction. All the input you get is filed into modules that are accessed for future problem-solving. On the other hand, romantic love brings forth physical and emotional pleasure to spice up our lives and allows us to enjoy it further.

Romantic love is a paradox; it is imprisoning and irrational yet intoxicating because it gives our brains a strategic advantage and stimulates it in the quest of conquering the beloved. This suggests that all the physiological and psychological needs are the ultimate drivers for the human being.

In his pyramid, Maslow talks about self-actualization and self-transcendence which are the most important needs after the low order needs of the sexual basis. Self-actualization means tapping into your full potential, but Maslow thinks some of us go even further to self-transcendence through mythical or personal experiences. So perhaps it is that drive for transcendence that is fueling this inexplicable need for copulation.

Most of us have been too scarred bypass experiences to even contemplate such a love. We are content to associate every finer emotion we have with the physical. It makes it easier to digest if we can manifest what clamors in our souls in a concrete fashion such as a touch or a caress. We are so used to having physical gratification that we now associate with love and immobile objects like our cars, houses, and clothes.

Is it possible we still have the capability to love in a way that transcends everything? Can we find a love that is beyond age, race, creed, religion, country or gender? Can we dig deep inside and find that faint flame and make it roar into a cleansing inferno? Or are we condemned to forever cheapen our finer emotions in a string of never-ending hallow attachments?

Our failure comes from the conditions we wish to enforce on the object of our love. We give in to the demands of the cruel world around us and only steer our emotions towards what is deemed acceptable, the antithesis of what transcendent love represents. And until we can love ourselves enough to cut down the apron strings, we remain unworthy of real love.